The struggle is real

I'm not going to sugar coat it. I am struggling right now. Granted things are better, way better than where we were last year. For those of you who don't know, here is a brief recap:

We were renting a trashy small apartment in which our landlord unexpectedly passed away. We found ourselves in the middle of an all out family war for the property. It was a four unit property divided among three relatives. One of whom had already passed, leaving his apartment share to his wife. We were renting our unit from GCG. He passed, and the demands for rent began to show up. "Pay me the rents". "Pay me the rents now in cash". "Don't give the rents to the woman". etc, etc. We had no intention of paying anyone other than GCG's estate so we did everything by the book in terms of writing and sending the appropriated documents to those involved and starting an account for rent and documenting EVERYthing in terms of lack of heat and hot water (long running issue). The man illegally living in the basement was part owner of the building, and the author of the grammatically stunning notes from above. He liked to pee in Snapple bottles, leaving them in an artistic covering on the table in the basement. He liked to scream the same few foul phrases over and over most likely while drunk off his gourd from $2.99 hooch. He liked to sleep in a basement with no running water and no plumbing, on a soiled mattress laying on a concrete pad so thickly covered in dirt we thought it was carpet the first time we went down there. He also liked to, on occasion, leave feces in the vestibule; of which that is a whole other story. He also liked to turn the heat off in the attempt to extort money from us for the rent to which he was not entitled to. It was a long cold winter last year and we had many calls to 311, the police, the fire department, and frankly, most everyone pointed to someone else who could do something but said they weren't legally able to keep him from turning the furnace off. It was a regular ol' mess.

So moving forward a year; yes I am ridiculously grateful that we are in our own house, with our own lack of heat, but this time it is because we are working on the home and making it something we can be proud of. The problem lies in that I have absolutely no control over anything. The DOB is dragging their heals, most likely not as much as our expediter. (If you're reading this by any miracle of miracles, CALL ME). The contractors are doing the right thing and waiting to do the permitted work until the absent permits are pulled, and moving forward on select projects.

Again, life is also a bit messy and sticky in other areas, but when isn't it. I just feel myself sliding and everything I try to do in order to pick myself up and feel optimistic, falls just short of working.

Did I mention that I invited my family for Christmas? I know they will make the best of it with us, I just pray we have a semi-functional kitchen in time for Christmas dinner and a place free of construction debris to celebrate together. As it stands now, it is all I can do to keep my eyes focused on the future.  For the week, that means rehearsals and performances of "Amahl and the Night Visitors" with shifts in Times Square mixed in. There, now who doesn't feel more relaxed?